A True Story

By someone else on September 1st, 1997

I feel obliged to bring up running into a girl named Kate during my quarter at the UW. I’d originally met her in high school through Thespians, she graduated a year ahead of me, and had dated B**** for most of her senior year. Despite all that, I’d never gotten to know her. I’d always wanted to, but never seemed to be able to get to know her that well.

So, Kate and I hung out a bit. I’d always had a mild attraction for her, and so I always tried to encourage any activities I could do with her. I’d introduced her to “the guys” at one of Juanune’s birthday functions (the end of that first school year), and some time after that she began hanging out with them a bit more regularly. I was a bit envious of that, because living in Kent, I wasn’t able to spend that much time with my friends up in the University District.

It was the summer break of 1994 when Nicole came back into town, and once again the old anguish returned. I came home one night, irrepairably depressed, and desperately needing someone to talk to about it.

I turned to Kate, and in that act all my troubles were conceived.

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Irresponsible Dog Owners

By kate on July 28th, 1997

I’m phobic of dogs. And that means that “He’s ok… he doesn’t bite” (I’ve heard that so many times) doesn’t change the fact that I want nowhere near your dog. I’m ok if the dog is on a leash, and I’m out of range.

Not having a dog on a leash in King County is ILLEGAL but so many people do it anyway. And the worst offenders don’t pay attention to my fearful body language and just let their dog play wherever it wants, including on me.

I’m a big supporter of off-leash areas… because if people have places that they can have their dogs free, maybe they won’t do it EVERYWHERE. At least now I know the places to avoid.

Clueless dog owners make me furious with their lack of understanding / caring that there may be someone who not only doesn’t like dogs but is genuinely phobic (meaning unreasonably afraid) of them. That’s not to say there aren’t thoughtful dog owners who keep their dogs on leashes, and notice when I start to look afraid, and pull their dogs away from me.

Yesterday, I had one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I was sitting in a beautiful cemetery, enjoying the sun, the peace, and the view. This woman drove up with three dogs, and let them out. Big dogs. They ran free, and even though I was far enough away, I eventually decided to walk farther.

Suddenly, the dogs noticed me. Two of them ran quickly toward me. They came from a distance, so it took a little while for them to arrive… leaving me paralyzed and shaking while my worst nightmare came running right at me. Fortunately, they didn’t jump on me, but barked a lot. The owner then noticed and called them back.

At this point, I was absolutely terrified. I yelled (she was too far away to just speak to) at the owner, “It’s illegal to have your dogs off leashes, you know!” She, the irresponsible, rude, clueless bitch, responded, “Give me a break!”

I couldn’t deal with her; I had to go sit down farther away and recover for several minutes. Eventually, I got up to go get her license plate number but she had gone.

I’m going to research the leash laws in King County and Seattle, and find out just what they are and what I can do about people that break them. I’m not interested in being a tattle tale or a snitch… but these laws exist for a reason: to keep dogs from bothering other people and other dogs. Leashless dogs are unpredictable.

At first the argument that leashes are restraining to your precious animal may sound convincing. But please remember that leaving your dog off a leash is rude and inconsiderate of those of us who are phobic. Not to mention people who just plain don’t like dogs, and dog owners who keep their dogs on leashes and don’t like your dog bounding up to theirs and annoying it.

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Kate, the Song

By someone else on January 15th, 1997

She plays Wipeout on the drums
The squirrels and the birds come
Gather round to sing the guitar
Oh I…Have you got nothing to say?

When all words fail she speaks
Her mix tape’s a masterpiece
Walks through the garden
So the roses can see
Oh I…Have you got nothing to say?

And you can see the daisies in her footsteps
Dandelions, butterflies
I wanna be Kate

Everyday she wears the same thing
I think she smokes pot
She’s everything I want
She’s everything I’m not
Oh I…Have you got nothing to say?

She never gets wet
She smiles and it’s a rainbow
And she speaks
And she breathes
I wanna be Kate

Down by Rosemary and Cameron
She hands out the Bhagavad Gita
I see her around every couple days
I wanna meet her so I can say…hey Kate

She never gets wet
She smiles and it’s a rainbow
You can see
I wanna wanna wanna be Kate

Notes from Kate

I think that I was very lucky that the song named after me is so good. I mean, aren’t you glad your name’s not Eileen? ( song by the Ben Folds Five )

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Advice from my Dad

By someone else on January 15th, 1997

The things that I think are important at this point in your career are:

developing an expertise, and
stability of employment.

You need to develop an expertise that can be transferred to other companies if you so choose in the future or you always start at the bottom, or entry level. You need to become an expert or experienced in something and have a reputation of successful assignments. It is easier to find out what this skill or area is in a larger company so that you can move around within the company without having to change employers. This develops a reputation of stability while you are trying to find out what you really like. You should focus on finding the area that you like better than other areas.

When the opportunity presents itself, you should talk to people in the departments or functions at your company that you might be interested in and find out what they do, what it is like, and when, and if, there are any openings. From inside the company you can get into jobs/departments that you could not get into from the outside.

Money and/or an individual opportunity are not always as important as developing an expertise that you can rely on and build from for future companies or assignments. It improves your marketability.

DAD

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My First Marriage Proposal

By someone else on November 6th, 1996

Okay I’m just a freshman at a very conservative university in west Texas (Abilene Christian University), and I know you are in the big time out in Seattle but I realy think it could work. I was born in Arlington Texas; you were born in Arlington Ohio…coincidence…I think not. We could go to Vegas; get maried in one of those chapels where Elvis is the best man, and honeymoon in the Galopogus islands. I came across your DNA fingerprinting page while doing research for a paper. I was so taken I just had to write. So please, Will you Marry me. a timely responce will be appriciated. Thanks. Bye. Your Love
Andy Bowman

Notes from Kate

This is a real email I received. I have left it just as I received it (errors and all), except for the link I added.

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Everything

By someone else on June 15th, 1996

I want a comrade, someone who is thoroughly interested in getting their hands messy on my insides, and who craves for me to do the same, someone who knows themselves well, and so realizes that they have only just begun the journey of getting to know themselves, someone with the kind of intense intelligence that allows them to chew on the cosmic and the mundane, and who can appreciate that they are still but a speck of dust and so never get pretentious about being anything but just them, separate and distinct from all else…

I want someone who will reach over in the middle of the night and caress my face tenderly and kiss me once without a word, look in my eyes and then fall back to sleep. Or they could say, “let’s eat good stuff when we get up,” and then go back to sleep. Someone who never takes me for granted but who doesn’t put me on a pedestal. Someone who understands what it is to be alive, and who yearns to glean every last drop out of things, or who can at least appreciate that this is it, and that even when you’re depressed or something, it’s good, cuz it’s still living, and so be happy with any type of experience.

I want someone who can combat stress with fun. I want someone who has as much invested in the vitality of the relationship as I do. I want someone who is so in tune with their deepest animal energy that they revel in letting their various moods sweep them all over the place. I want someone who says something with their lovemaking, a communication in every touch, even if it is nothing more than animal mating.

I want a best friend, a cohort, somone mischevous, and friendly, and relaxed. I want to make love all the time, and go shopping, and eat out, and drive to the coast, and fly to Hawaii, and make distant plans that involve living together and growing daisies and owning a shower with nozzles that come out of the walls. I want to go on motorcycle road trips to the southwest. I want to have other women in our bed and know that they could never replace me in his eyes.

I want to be revelled in and loved beyond belief, and clutched intimately to someone’s heart without feeling trapped. I want to want to be trapped. I want them to experience a healthy dose of jealousy, but to never have to feel threatened. I want to be surprised. I want to cry with happiness or hysterics or release at least twice a week. I want to be able to walk into a bar in Arizona with him, wearing spurs and a capgun at my hip, black leather, and a dandelion behind my ear, looking fine as the day is long, and play pool with the man of my dreams, retaining an air of cool.

I want to get all dressed up for no reason, tux and all, and party for as many hours as we can humanly stand, doing all sorts of stupid mundane things, like buying juice, and going to the top of the space needle, and going for walks, and shopping for puppies, and making lists of cool stuff, and eating dessert, and cruising for the ball bins in the McDonald’s playgrounds after they’re closed, and making love in graveyards, and going clubbing, and sitting in deserted parking lots eating clamstrips and just talking, etc., until we’re too tired to go on, after like 30 hours, and when his tux is good and rumpled, we can go home and take it all off and cuddle naked and sleep like angels for another 15 hours, and then go out for breakfast. Is that too much?

I want someone who always looks in my eyes, unless my lips are just too distracting to bear, whose gaze occasionally becomes so intense that I forget what I was saying. I want backrubs and foot rubs. I want weird snarling at odd intervals. I want to be visited at work, and surprised with good food. I want someone who thinks making homemade dandelion wine is important. I want somone who wears shoelaces with strawberries on them. Wherever he wants as long as it’s the only item of clothing.

I want someone who appreciates good movies, and someone for whom watching them is never an excuse to just be bored and tired. I want in-home movie watching to be an event and a tradition. I want it to involve extensive cuddling. I want to never feel lonely. I want it to be the ultimate and most perfect reason to be alive. I want orgasms. I want someone who throws donuts at the windows of redheads and who brings me along to pick them out. I want to be able to fight and never feel like we’re talking alien languages.

I want a brother and sex kitten. I want somone who’s dangerous and safe, light and dark. I want a relationship to be life-giving and not exhausting and disappointing. Painful is OK as long as it’s only for short bouts. I want someone who can cook. I want someone who realizes that money and work are only a way to be able to make all these dreams come true, and that the dreams are what’s important and not the career, however distinguished it may be.

I want someone who knows what he wants and asks for it. I want someone who writes me letters or at least writes me back. I want someone that takes a long time to get to know but with whom I always feel intimate. Someone who gives me the special privilege of having open access to all their darkest deepest most beautiful secrets and crevices. Someone who enjoys being embarrassed or uncomfortable that we have gone to far, invaded too much privacy, indulged in too much intimacy.

I want someone who likes to ride on the back of my bike with his arms around my waist. I want to go out with all our friends and feel proud of what we have, and spread the energy we get from it with everyone. I want to eat the batter off the spoons with him, and go dancing, and feel sexy, and feel cherished, and feel free to do and say anything. I want to talk about every topic on earth. I want to pick new recipes together all the time. I want to take aikido lessons together. I want someone who will speak French or Italian in my ear to turn me on. I want someone who understands the power of their own masculinity.

I want puck and eros and and an angel and a demon, and a satyr and a god, and a goblin, and fairy, and the kid next door in his white tee-shirt and thrashed all-stars and goofy smile, and the man of my dreams.