Making a habit of being active

By kate on April 15th, 2008

I recently had two related epiphanies that, in retrospect, seem kind of obvious. However, they hadn’t occurred to me clearly before, so I figured it was worth writing about them. Both have to do with raising active (and therefore healthy) kids.

1. Strollers discourage walking: I think most people would agree that it’s healthy to have a walking mindset, where you’re not hesitant to walk to get somewhere (whether that’s to the bus stop, grocery store, hiking trail, etc.). But how is a kid supposed to get in this habit when he or she is plunked in a stroller and pushed everywhere for their first few years? At that point, walking feels like a burden, a chore, something to wheedle your way out of at all costs.

I’ve always kind of hated strollers for their bulk and inconvenience, so I rarely bring one out with me. When Ruby was smaller, I used a baby carrier most of the time. Now that she’s bigger, a carrier is just not a realistic option because of her weight and my back issues. If we’re going to a place where walking around is the point (such as the zoo), I’ll use a stroller. But usually it’s just her and me. And with the aforementioned back issues, on some days I’m simply not able to carry her very far. This makes it more final to say “no” to requests for carrying, and so she walks. By now she is used to walking and rarely complains. I’m hoping that by making her walk now I will raise someone who won’t drive two blocks to the grocery store (as I have been known to do from time to time).

2. Making entertainment equal activity: Ruby doesn’t watch any TV. Her only screen time comes from the occasional YouTube video and our digital pictures. In addition, we have given her lots of time to play in our playroom by herself (without a parent directing things). I realized recently that this approach added up to something interesting: In order to be entertained, Ruby has to be moving. Sitting still in the playroom is boring, so she must make her own entertainment by jumping, pretending, building, drawing, dumping, climbing, reading, etc.

Kids raised on TV and video games, as well as us lazy adults, know that a lot of entertainment can come from sitting still on a couch (or computer chair). Eventually that’s what we start to crave when we’re bored. Optimistically, I’d like to believe that this early association between activity and entertainment can be wired into Ruby’s body so that it drives her for the rest of her life. I’m sure it’s not that easy, especially as she is introduced to more passive forms of entertainment. But maybe she’s at least getting a healthy head start.

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Toilet Training: we’re still waiting

By kate on March 28th, 2008

“It’s not a race,” I keep reminding myself as Ruby’s peers start toilet training. I find it hard to resist being swept up in a competitive spirit, especially because up to this point, Ruby’s generally been with or ahead of her peers. However, we’re still waiting to toilet train because of two reasons:

  • Ruby’s not ready
  • Her parents aren’t ready

Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s possible, and not even that hard

By kate on March 7th, 2008

Before I became a parent, we had some strong ideas about what we would and wouldn’t do, especially as it relates to gender and consumerism. However, I always kept an open mind since I didn’t really know what it was like to be a parent. Despite being a bit shocked by the use of Baby Einstein videos by very smart friends of mine, I refrained from passing judgment, because maybe it really WAS necessary to get such a break from time to time. I kept hearing that, with a girl, there was no escaping the flood of pink princessy items, and while I hoped otherwise, I left a little mental room for it to be true just in case.

Well. After having been through the first two years of parenting myself, I am very happy to report that NONE of that is mandatory! And honestly, it’s not that much work, either. It’s totally possible to:

  • Dress your girl in colors other than pink
  • Avoid character-branded merchandise
  • Avoid irritating battery-operated toys
  • Give away any offensive clothing or toys you may get
  • Have a young child who never watches TV or videos
  • Avoid stupid children’s music and play good music for your child instead

I’m very proud of the fact that Ruby has no idea who Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, or the Sesame Street characters are. I’m sure she’ll pick up on them eventually, when she goes to school, but there’s no need for her to know about them now. As nice and cute (and even educational) as they may seem, I never forget that they’re specifically designed to use a kid’s affection to get to their parents’ wallet. Ruby has stuffed friends (a teddy bear, kitten, beluga, and doll are her favorites) who, while mass-produced, are not vanguards of a massive marketing campaign.

The things above were easy. There are other things that we’ve done as parents that were a little more work. Having one parent at home made it possible to do hippie things like use cloth diapers and wipes and make Ruby’s baby food from scratch. The parenting work I’m most proud of, that of helping Ruby become independent and disciplined, takes the most time and effort, but is obviously not impossible.

I do need to acknowledge the importance of having a family that respects our wishes. It’s been so great that my parents and Steve’s parents understand our thoughts about toys and clothes and take the time to find wonderful gifts that don’t cross the line. I think it’s vital that new or expecting parents take the time to express their thoughts up front about what they think is important. We did that by writing the blog posts linked above, as well as through conversation, and I think it helped to make things clear before any gifts were given.

I still take the open-minded approach when it comes to the future. I’m going to try to keep doing things this way as Ruby enters preschool and then elementary school, but I can’t be sure it’ll all go the way I want. All I can say for sure is: have hope, new parents - for at least the first two years, it’s possible!

Filed under: consumerism, parenting | 8 Comments »


Obama vs. Clinton: their records

By kate on February 21st, 2008

I really enjoyed this fact-filled post comparing the Senate records of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Hopefully, it should put to rest the ridiculous argument that Obama is all talk and no action or details (which is quite false).

Filed under: current events | 2 Comments »


Short and well rehearsed

By kate on February 13th, 2008

I got a subscription to Wondertime magazine for my birthday this year, and have been surprised at how much I enjoy the articles. (It’s a Disney property and the ads are another story; I’ve started a collection of egregiously sexist ones for the shock and humor value.)

A recent article really struck a chord with me, and it introduces a parenting principle I’d like to adopt: short and well rehearsed.

My children were no longer allowed to interrupt us with “Watch this!” unless whatever we were going to see was short and well rehearsed. When applied to a dinner party, that meant rehearsed for, say, an hour, and performed for, say, three minutes. The results were amazing….  (read entire article)

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We need a “Mayor Gridlock” shirt, size 2T

By kate on February 11th, 2008

Ruby was fingerpainting this morning. Without any input from me, here is what she drew:

Filed under: current events, seattle | 2 Comments »


Dream job: Alpha Tester

By kate on February 8th, 2008

My network of ex-Jobster colleagues contains an unusually large number of small startups. I can count about 14 startups that have been founded or co-founded by ex-Jobsters, and many others who employ ex-Jobsters. Because of my connections at these new ventures, I’ve had the opportunity lately to do some alpha and beta testing, and have been having a lot of fun.

I’ve always enjoyed taking the time to give detailed feedback when asked. I contributed to my former employers this way, and often send bug reports for the software/sites I use, but what’s really fun is engaging with a new, hungry company that is trying to get it right.

It started with Trumba about three years ago, when I was a beta user (unfortunately, I soured on Trumba later). Of course, I helped my husband improve Feedwhip, and later Picnik. More recently, I’ve worked with startups like AirSet, Stuffopolis, SimpleSpark, Urbanspoon, RescueTime, Mergelab, and I Want Sandy to identify bugs and make suggestions.

I should point out that this help is unpaid, and contributed as a user (rather than employee or consultant). I do it because I really enjoy trying out new things in my neverending quest to get everything to work just the way I want. It’s invigorating for me to interact with these entrepreneurs, see the passion and commitment they have for their products, and dream together about the best way to solve a problem.

The more highly I think of a product, the more likely I am to send in lots of bugs and feedback. I’m cheering for these baby companies to succeed, and so contribute what I can to help. If only alpha tester were a paying job, I’d do it full time.

Filed under: work, technology | 4 Comments »


Parenting principle: Aim over her head

By kate on January 28th, 2008

I have a parenting principle that I try to keep in mind at all times: aim over her head. By this, I mean that I never want to underestimate what Ruby can do or understand. She surprises me a lot of the time, by showing me that she picked up on something complicated or subtle. So instead, I try to overestimate a little, and expect that she won’t get quite everything at first.

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Snacking… where’s the line?

By kate on January 23rd, 2008

I’ve been wondering about something lately and don’t really have an answer. Where do you draw the line to make sure that feeding your kids healthy snacks doesn’t turn them into adults with a life-long snacking habit?

As I am out and about with Ruby, visiting with friends, going to play centers, etc., I often see other parents giving their children snacks. It sometimes seems like a steady stream of food. Granted, it’s always something pretty healthy like Cheerios, but I still wonder what kind of habits are being developed.

Giving a toddler snacks is a natural step as they are being weaned. A baby is used to being fed every couple of hours, so they need some sustenance between meals at first. Eventually, though, as Ruby’s growth slowed, she stopped eating as ravenously all the time and I stopped giving her snacks. Now, she rarely has much between meals. An exception is if I know we’re going to have a late dinner, then I’ll give her a snack with her juice after naptime. But I don’t bring food with us when we go out, and she generally doesn’t ask for anything.

I know the other parents I see are nutrition-conscious and trying to do the best for their children. It may be that, at this age, it’s still good for them to have a snack or two a day. I’m not really sure, and parenting books are not unanimous on the subject. But one thing I try to be aware of is creating good habits, and I try to start those as young as possible. I wouldn’t want to have to wean Ruby off snacks after they’ve become an expected part of her day. It’s easier for me to skip them entirely.

Filed under: food, parenting | 5 Comments »


Plug for Community Fitness

By kate on January 14th, 2008

There’s a cool new place in my neighborhood, Community Fitness. Here’s the review I just wrote for Yelp! :

Community Fitness is a new exercise studio in the Ravenna neighborhood (open since November 2007). What makes it unique is that every class is $6, and it’s all drop-in. No commitment whatsoever. As soon as I found out about it, I went to check out a class. It’s in the daylight basement of a house that’s being used for offices, and the space is nice, clean, and new (and ventilated).

When you sign up, you need to either pre-pay cash for 10 classes (which is refundable) or give them your bank account info so they can do an EFT every month (for what you use). The point of this is so that they can efficiently collect money from people without holding up class. You really only pay for the classes you take, which amazes me.

I enjoyed the class I tried, Core Conditioning, and thought the instructor was good. They have classes every day of the week (on everything from cardio to dance to yoga to double-dutch) and I’ll probably try more before settling on which one I’ll take regularly. Because I’m definitely going back!

I highly recommend you give them a try. I want lots of people to go there so they stay afloat so I can keep going.

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We control the comfort food

By kate on December 28th, 2007

Ruby has had a bad cold for the last week (now on the mend), and it made me realize something heartening.

As parents, we worry about our children’s nutrition. Are they getting enough vitamins today? Did he eat enough protein this week? Will she develop healthy eating habits or turn easily to junk food when she’s older? Obviously, there’s no way to stop your child from downing burgers and soda as a teenager. And people’s adult food habits are pretty much their own decision, once they’re old enough to give it some thought.

However, we parents get to program one part: we control the comfort food. What a mother or father feeds a child when sick is a very sticky thing. We all find ourselves craving that same food (infused with parental love, of course) the rest of our lives when feeling ill.

I’m trying to keep that in mind. It’s tempting to let Ruby have treats when she’s sick because it will cheer her up short-term. But I remind myself that by making her oatmeal for breakfast and healthy soup for dinner, we’re imparting a legacy of health that is pretty much guaranteed to last her whole life. At least whenever she’s sick.

Filed under: food, parenting | 1 Comment »


A brief note on Facebook

By kate on December 15th, 2007

It seems that everyone is suddenly saying that Facebook is done. Whether they’re mad about Beacon, or just annoyed by all the zombie requests, the honeymoon is definitely over. Like everyone, I find I’m checking my news feed less frequently (not every day, but still several times a week).

There’s one point that I haven’t seen anyone make, and that’s that this is a normal phase that people go through when they adopt a new communication technology. Remember when email jumped from the techies to everyone else? It took a few years for users to get over the joke forwards and chain mail. I’m sure that when older things like telephones and fax machines hit the mainstream, people used them for frivolous things at first too.

There’s an etiquette learning curve, and I think we just need to wait for people to learn. Just as you needed to teach your Uncle Harry to use the BCC field in email, now you need to tell your friends not to invite everyone they know into their new Facebook application. Remember, it’s not the whole world you need to worry about - just your friends. Once your friends are Facebook-savvy, they won’t be polluting your account with Super Wall messages and personality quizzes.

I know it feels like we’re up to our ears in the crap right now, but it’s just a natural surge. It doesn’t change the fact that my Facebook account contains valuable assets: information and news about the people I know. I’ve taken the time to build a network of friends in Facebook, and I’m going to sit back and let the surge go by. When it recedes, my network will still be there, more communication-savvy than ever.

Filed under: technology | 2 Comments »


How and why I Twitter: Part 3

By kate on December 4th, 2007

Now, to the mechanics of it all. I mentioned using Facebook as well as Twitter. I also access them from my Blackberry (cell phone) as well as my computer. I’m the sort of lazy person who will go to a lot of effort up front to make things easier for myself down the line. I wanted to make it so that I could read and write status updates in only one service. And that’s how it works - very simple and efficient. Along the way, the setup got kind of complicated, though. Here’s how it looks (click for a larger version):

twitter-diagram1.jpg

Basically, I enter twitters using my computer or Blackberry. They are then automatically synchronized with my Facebook status as well as sent to my blog sidebar (so that my friends can use their method of choice to keep up with me). Going the other direction, I get twitters from my Twitter friends on Twitter, obviously. I get my Facebook friends’ statuses by piping them into a new Twitter user I created, who I “follow” with Twitter, which puts the Facebook people right in the same list as everyone else. (This Twitter user is private and locked, so I’m not exposing anything publicly.)

I know it looks like spaghetti, but I diagrammed it in case anyone else is interested in setting it up the same way. If you’d like more information, leave a comment with your question. Here are links to the intermediate services I currently use:

I’d like to conclude with a little advice if you’re considering trying out Twitter. I acknowledge that there are tens of thousands of boring twitters out there. But you don’t have to follow anyone who bores you - keep those banal “cleaning my room” and “picking my nose” people off your list and follow only interesting folks.

And don’t forget to be interesting yourself. Don’t twitter just for the sake of twittering - pause and be sure you have something to say. Remember you are broadcasting to a group. Find some witty twitterers among your friends and use them as role models (I don’t necessarily recommend myself). For example, I aspire to be as intriguing and observant as robby1066.

Over the past three blog posts, I have written the equivalent of more than 53 twitters on the subject of Twitter. As much as I enjoy twittering, I certainly believe there is still a place for long-format blog entries in the digital world.
 


UPDATE: Ariel has an interesting take on why she uses Twitter. I certainly share her frustration about friends who don’t twitter.
 

Filed under: relationships, meta, technology | 1 Comment »


How and why I Twitter: part 2

By kate on December 3rd, 2007

I’d like to try to explain, to those of you who don’t twitter, why it is so engaging.

I can look down the list of recent twitters and quickly absorb what everyone is saying (because twitters are so short). It is a very efficient way to keep up with a large number of people. When I check Twitter, I feel like I am laying my hands on the humming, vibrating threads of my network. I can palpably feel the buzz and my connection with everyone.

Imagine a conversation you might have if you ran into someone you used to work with. It would most likely cover very general subjects and vague feelings. Even if you like the person a lot, there is too much ground to cover to make for a meaningful conversation. On the other hand, when I run into my former colleagues (the ones who are on Twitter or Facebook), instead of blandly asking, “how are you?” I can ask, “did you ever get your scooter fixed?” or “how’s Timmy’s wrist?” or “tell me more about that new restaurant you tried last week.”

Paradoxically, it seems that it is the minutiae of life, the day-to-day details, that allow you to get to know someone better. They build up, one mundane detail at a time, into a multi-dimensional picture of someone that can’t be built any other way. Even if you don’t get the full picture from a twitter, you can see if someone is feeling up or down. (For example, if someone was dumped, they might just say “I’m bummed” or “having a tough night.”) You can twitter back to offer encouragement, commiseration, information, or celebration. If you feel so inclined, you can contact them in a longer format (email, phone call, etc.) to discuss something in more depth.

I also love the broadcast aspect of Twitter. For example, I can quickly send out a request for information to my network of friends. Once I had forgotten a word and it was driving me nuts, so I twittered, “what is the name of the area in a department store between the first set of doors and the second set of doors?” It wasn’t long before one of my friends reminded me it was called the vestibule.

Many times, Twitter is the first place I’ll hear about breaking news. I read the newspaper once a day, and keep up with a bunch of blogs when I can, but I check Twitter all day long, when I’m home and when I’m out, because it’s so fast to read.

It is possible to follow any number of celebrities (especially the internet ones) on Twitter, as well as non-human twitterers and other distractions, but just like the blogs I read, I generally keep it to the people I know in person. That’s partially because I don’t have a lot of time, but mainly because I use Twitter and blogs to enhance my personal relationships, the ones that exist outside of the computer as well as within. As a stay-at-home parent, nurturing my network is extra important because I don’t see people as often. And Twitter is an invaluable tool for enriching my friendships.

Check back tomorrow for some technical details about how I’ve made everything work for me.

Filed under: relationships, meta, technology | 1 Comment »


How and why I Twitter: part 1

By kate on December 2nd, 2007

I resisted Twitter for a long time because I couldn’t understand the appeal. It was only after I sort of backed into it that I fell in love. This is the three-part story of how that happened, why I love it, and some of the behind-the-scenes mechanics of how I configured it all.

It started with Facebook. When my previous employer launched a partnership with Facebook, I and everyone else in the company jumped into Facebook to see what all the fuss was about. This gave me an instantly large network of friends there, and that made Facebook stick. I enjoyed checking the news feed to see what everyone was doing, and who they were befriending. Eventually, I realized that my favorite part of Facebook is the status updates. If you’re not familiar with Facebook, the status update is a short field that you can edit that begins with your name (for example, “Kate is looking forward to soccer tonight”). It’s not just used literally for announcing your status, but for any short message you’d like to convey.

Then a few of my former colleagues became disenchanted with Facebook and began using Twitter instead. (Twitter is a website based around sharing only such short status updates.) I realized I also had some non-Facebook friends who had been Twittering all along. So, I began using Twitter as well to interact with those people. At first, I used Facebook as an entry point, but Twitter slowly won me over. Now, I read and write status updates through Twitter and they get sent to Facebook automatically (more on the details of that later).

Twitters and Facebook status updates are almost the same thing. But Twitter offers the ability to directly respond to someone else, either publicly or privately. And that simple extra feature is enough to make me prefer Twitter.

At first, I tried to update my status (in Facebook) once a day so it wouldn’t seem stale. Once I got in the habit of updating, I updated probably 2-3 times per day on average. After moving to Twitter, my frequency picked up a bit because I’d sometimes respond to other twitters as well as posting my own. Now that I’m fully addicted, I’m still not broadcasting everything. I range from 3-5 twitters on most days, less when I’m sitting around the house, and more when I’m out and about.

Checking Twitter is another story. I probably do that at least four times an hour. Why? Come back tomorrow for part 2 of this series.

Filed under: relationships, meta, technology | 1 Comment »


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