I assume most adults grow out of their childhood career fantasies. Except for the real astronauts, spies, and movie stars, I assume grown-ups’ work fantasies involve promotions and raises, or maybe working for themselves one day. Except me.<\/p>\n
I want to be a cat burglar.<\/p>\n
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not at all interested in stealing<\/em> anything. I just want to break in. It would be ideal if I had a job where, say, the owner of a company would pay me to break in to test his security.<\/p>\n I don’t know quite what appeals to me about cat-burgling. To do it, you must have a lot of grace and dexterity, not to mention fearlessness and know-how. All those are characteristics I admire. To be a cat burglar, you can’t be afraid of heights, getting caught, or your own failure.<\/p>\n I’m fascinated by movies (or parts of movies) about breaking into buildings. Remember the movie The Real McCoy<\/em>, with Kim Basinger? Probably not, because the critics hated it<\/a>. I was enthralled, though, because it goes into great detail about how Kim Basinger’s character plans to break into a high-security bank. I always enjoy break-in scenes, such as the ones in Sneakers<\/em> and Mission Impossible<\/em>.<\/p>\n Personally, I have broken into four or five buildings already. No, it was nothing illegal… in all but one case, someone was locked out of their home. The other time, I was scheduled to pick up my couch from a friend who had been borrowing it. I arrived at his house and found nobody home. I couldn’t come back, since I had the moving truck that day only, so instead I broke in through an unlocked second-story window. I don’t think that was illegal either, because my friend didn’t mind once I told him about it.<\/p>\n I’ve decided to work on polishing the skills I’d need to be a cat burglar. Just in case, you know. I’ve always been a natural climber, and have done rock climbing in the past. I got sidetracked from rock climbing during my triathlon training<\/a>, but now I plan to start climbing again. I go to a climbing gym where you climb walls using only the smallest foot- and hand-holds. Could be very useful.<\/p>\n The other skill I am learning is lock picking. For my birthday, I got a lock-picking book and lock-pick set. I bought a few locks to practice on, and have managed to open two so far. One is a “high-security” pin tumbler padlock that I can open in less than 20 seconds. It is spring-loaded, and makes a very satisfying CLICK when it opens.<\/p>\n I still need more practice, of course. I’ve been practicing while watching TV, which is a good time to do it because it occupies my hands. Since lock picking relies on touch, rather than sight, this way I get in the habit of using my hands without looking.<\/p>\n