1. Strollers discourage walking: I think most people would agree that it’s healthy to have a walking mindset, where you’re not hesitant to walk to get somewhere (whether that’s to the bus stop, grocery store, hiking trail, etc.). But how is a kid supposed to get in this habit when he or she is plunked in a stroller and pushed everywhere for their first few years? At that point, walking feels like a burden, a chore, something to wheedle your way out of at all costs.

I’ve always kind of hated strollers for their bulk and inconvenience, so I rarely bring one out with me. When Ruby was smaller, I used a baby carrier most of the time. Now that she’s bigger, a carrier is just not a realistic option because of her weight and my back issues. If we’re going to a place where walking around is the point (such as the zoo), I’ll use a stroller. But usually it’s just her and me. And with the aforementioned back issues, on some days I’m simply not able to carry her very far. This makes it more final to say “no” to requests for carrying, and so she walks. By now she is used to walking and rarely complains. I’m hoping that by making her walk now I will raise someone who won’t drive two blocks to the grocery store (as I have been known to do from time to time).

2. Making entertainment equal activity: Ruby doesn’t watch any TV. Her only screen time comes from the occasional YouTube video and our digital pictures. In addition, we have given her lots of time to play in our playroom by herself (without a parent directing things). I realized recently that this approach added up to something interesting: In order to be entertained, Ruby has to be moving. Sitting still in the playroom is boring, so she must make her own entertainment by jumping, pretending, building, drawing, dumping, climbing, reading, etc.

Kids raised on TV and video games, as well as us lazy adults, know that a lot of entertainment can come from sitting still on a couch (or computer chair). Eventually that’s what we start to crave when we’re bored. Optimistically, I’d like to believe that this early association between activity and entertainment can be wired into Ruby’s body so that it drives her for the rest of her life. I’m sure it’s not that easy, especially as she is introduced to more passive forms of entertainment. But maybe she’s at least getting a healthy head start.

• Ruby’s not ready
• Her parents aren’t ready

(more…)

Well. After having been through the first two years of parenting myself, I am very happy to report that NONE of that is mandatory! And honestly, it’s not that much work, either. It’s totally possible to:

• Dress your girl in colors other than pink
• Avoid character-branded merchandise
• Avoid irritating battery-operated toys
• Give away any offensive clothing or toys you may get
• Have a young child who never watches TV or videos
• Avoid stupid children’s music and play good music for your child instead

I’m very proud of the fact that Ruby has no idea who Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, or the Sesame Street characters are. I’m sure she’ll pick up on them eventually, when she goes to school, but there’s no need for her to know about them now. As nice and cute (and even educational) as they may seem, I never forget that they’re specifically designed to use a kid’s affection to get to their parents’ wallet. Ruby has stuffed friends (a teddy bear, kitten, beluga, and doll are her favorites) who, while mass-produced, are not vanguards of a massive marketing campaign.

The things above were easy. There are other things that we’ve done as parents that were a little more work. Having one parent at home made it possible to do hippie things like use cloth diapers and wipes and make Ruby’s baby food from scratch. The parenting work I’m most proud of, that of helping Ruby become independent and disciplined, takes the most time and effort, but is obviously not impossible.

I do need to acknowledge the importance of having a family that respects our wishes. It’s been so great that my parents and Steve’s parents understand our thoughts about toys and clothes and take the time to find wonderful gifts that don’t cross the line. I think it’s vital that new or expecting parents take the time to express their thoughts up front about what they think is important. We did that by writing the blog posts linked above, as well as through conversation, and I think it helped to make things clear before any gifts were given.

I still take the open-minded approach when it comes to the future. I’m going to try to keep doing things this way as Ruby enters preschool and then elementary school, but I can’t be sure it’ll all go the way I want. All I can say for sure is: have hope, new parents - for at least the first two years, it’s possible!

A recent article really struck a chord with me, and it introduces a parenting principle I’d like to adopt: short and well rehearsed.

My children were no longer allowed to interrupt us with “Watch this!” unless whatever we were going to see was short and well rehearsed. When applied to a dinner party, that meant rehearsed for, say, an hour, and performed for, say, three minutes. The results were amazing….  (read entire article)

I’ve always enjoyed taking the time to give detailed feedback when asked. I contributed to my former employers this way, and often send bug reports for the software/sites I use, but what’s really fun is engaging with a new, hungry company that is trying to get it right.

It started with Trumba about three years ago, when I was a beta user (unfortunately, I soured on Trumba later). Of course, I helped my husband improve Feedwhip, and later Picnik. More recently, I’ve worked with startups like AirSet, Stuffopolis, SimpleSpark, Urbanspoon, RescueTime, Mergelab, and I Want Sandy to identify bugs and make suggestions.

I should point out that this help is unpaid, and contributed as a user (rather than employee or consultant). I do it because I really enjoy trying out new things in my neverending quest to get everything to work just the way I want. It’s invigorating for me to interact with these entrepreneurs, see the passion and commitment they have for their products, and dream together about the best way to solve a problem.

The more highly I think of a product, the more likely I am to send in lots of bugs and feedback. I’m cheering for these baby companies to succeed, and so contribute what I can to help. If only alpha tester were a paying job, I’d do it full time.

As I am out and about with Ruby, visiting with friends, going to play centers, etc., I often see other parents giving their children snacks. It sometimes seems like a steady stream of food. Granted, it’s always something pretty healthy like Cheerios, but I still wonder what kind of habits are being developed.

Giving a toddler snacks is a natural step as they are being weaned. A baby is used to being fed every couple of hours, so they need some sustenance between meals at first. Eventually, though, as Ruby’s growth slowed, she stopped eating as ravenously all the time and I stopped giving her snacks. Now, she rarely has much between meals. An exception is if I know we’re going to have a late dinner, then I’ll give her a snack with her juice after naptime. But I don’t bring food with us when we go out, and she generally doesn’t ask for anything.

I know the other parents I see are nutrition-conscious and trying to do the best for their children. It may be that, at this age, it’s still good for them to have a snack or two a day. I’m not really sure, and parenting books are not unanimous on the subject. But one thing I try to be aware of is creating good habits, and I try to start those as young as possible. I wouldn’t want to have to wean Ruby off snacks after they’ve become an expected part of her day. It’s easier for me to skip them entirely.

Community Fitness is a new exercise studio in the Ravenna neighborhood (open since November 2007). What makes it unique is that every class is $6, and it’s all drop-in. No commitment whatsoever. As soon as I found out about it, I went to check out a class. It’s in the daylight basement of a house that’s being used for offices, and the space is nice, clean, and new (and ventilated).

When you sign up, you need to either pre-pay cash for 10 classes (which is refundable) or give them your bank account info so they can do an EFT every month (for what you use). The point of this is so that they can efficiently collect money from people without holding up class. You really only pay for the classes you take, which amazes me.

I enjoyed the class I tried, Core Conditioning, and thought the instructor was good. They have classes every day of the week (on everything from cardio to dance to yoga to double-dutch) and I’ll probably try more before settling on which one I’ll take regularly. Because I’m definitely going back!

I highly recommend you give them a try. I want lots of people to go there so they stay afloat so I can keep going.